Why I Will Always Run in the Rain
We all follow someone-I started with 1980’s cross-trainers…
I have a love-hate relationship with running. Many mornings that first step is painful, but I know I have to take it. When I check the weather first thing, unless the rain is so steady I won’t be able to see from water in my face, I hit the pavement. Not because I am a martyr, but to meet a personal challenge, which I know will make my day better. My first mentors in this lesson were my parents. When I was about 12 years old, my parents decided to try to jog around the block. They put on their 1980’s version of cross-trainers and set out, but barely made it to the end of our street. Over the next few weeks I watched as they steadily ran farther and farther, without giving up no matter how hard it was, and eventually, they were both running miles beyond our block. From their example, I learned the benefit of perseverance and following someone I wanted to emulate. The same can be said of military life. If you find a mentor who is rocking military spouse-hood, you can and should learn from them. The neighbor who went to one spouse function and hated it, thus dismissing anything any experienced spouse says, may not be the best person to show you how to thrive as a military spouse, much like you wouldn’t take skydiving lessons from a novice. Not all those who attempt to be mentors are good at it, but there are plenty of positive people out there that would love to support you in living your best life.
Some people inspire you to follow them…
When I’m out on a warm, sunny morning there are always lots of people out running, walking, and enjoying the weather. When I am running in the rain or extreme cold, I see the hardcore runners, the ones with resiliency and grit, who believe doing the best for themselves is what they need not just to survive, but to thrive. When we were a younger Air Force family, a friend convinced me to get involved in our squadron spouse’s group, as well as join the spouse’s club at an overseas base, and take a volunteer position in both. It didn’t take me long to realize these spouses were incredibly knowledgeable about military life and keenly aware of how to get things done both in their own lives and for fellow military families. Anyone who has been to a bazaar at an overseas base has seen the fruits of amazing volunteer work where driven spouses create a huge event that is appreciated by thousands, while raising money for the military community. As far as runners go, they don’t have to be the fastest or the best at distance, but if they have the perseverance, they get the job done. It can be spouses in an organized club or just a group of supportive neighbors who become your tribe, but find that tribe. Here I feel like I should add a fair warning. Sometimes your first event with other military spouses can be a bit overwhelming or those who are old-hat may say something that seems odd. Remember, just like military life is completely different than the civilian world, so is military spouse life, so give it a chance before you decide the experienced spouses have nothing to offer you. When you dip your toe in a pool, the water always feels cold at first, so don’t let that deter you from taking the plunge.
Whoever you follow, you will wind up where they are going…
Now that April is here and Spring is in the air, “new beginning” memes are popping up all over social media. Every year I say to myself, didn’t we just work through this theme at New Years? And yet, here we are. We are given pep talks about “new beginnings” but the reality is, only those willing to take a daring leap toward their new beginning will successfully change something in their lives. Whether it is the beginning, middle, or end of the year, those who really aspire to change will do so when they are tired of being their own roadblock. Statistics back up the theory that who we hang out with impacts our success or failure when we attempt to change our lives for the positive. Although there are outliers in any statistical measurement, everybody can’t be the exception. The take away from this? Hang out with the people who are doing the things you want to do, even if doing so challenges you. So, whether it is organization, education, exercise, money management, general well-being, or handling tough deployments and work schedules, learn from those who want you to succeed. You will find them in the middle of a challenge, and they will welcome you when you get there.
The more you run, the easier it is to run in the rain…
I will be forever grateful to the spouses who convinced me to put myself out there. In my 22 years as a military spouse, I have learned more and experienced more than I could have ever imagined. It hasn’t always been easy, it hasn’t always been uplifting, but it was always worth it. I am thankful I stepped out in the rain that first time because there were some hard-core runners on the path, ready to help me hit that pavement with a splash.
If you have a great story about a mentor send me a note at cdickens@milspouseadvocacynetwork.org.
